A few week’s ago, well actually it’s nearly three months now I made quite a big decision, one that I hoped would have a positive impact on our little family. It was a decision that affected my day job, which I absolutely love, it isn’t just a job, it is my career which I have established over 13 years. It is one which comes with its pressures but on the other side it also allows for us to live our life the way in which we want to. To enjoy the little extras.
I have been travelling to Manchester for three years and ever since Lil G started School in September it has been a struggle. Until September I think we coped quite well, often the long days would leave me falling asleep by 8pm on a Thursday night but if truth be told we were used to the routine and although it was tough most days, I honestly didn’t believe there was another option. Not local to where we live anyway, hence me commuting to Manchester for three years. And then, if by magic and most definitely at the moment when I was at breaking point, I was approached by a local business and with having an old colleague already working in the team it felt too good to be true.
The prospect of working a few minutes from home, for a business which respected the balance I need to be a success at being both a mummy and a career woman, I made the leap and I didn’t look back. Although I do miss the shops in Manchester, not being able to run into Cath Kidston or Zara on my lunch break or so close to the Manchester Markets at Christmas time is a little disappointing. The prospect of being so close to home was just too hard to resist.
Despite the nerves and anxiety about whether or not it was the best move for my career, I can honestly say that by making this change I feel so much closer to my gorgeous boy. After almost three months, I feel reconnected with our little family. I have more time with my boys, I think it works out an extra eight hours a week which feels incredible. I don’t miss moments which I under played in my mind in previous months. The mummy guilt has passed over me, I’m at home in time to catch Lil G before he feels asleep, to work through his homework with him and so much more. I feel so lucky that my boys have stood by me over the last three years, when I look back I’m not quite sure how I did it. How we did it. I was failing my boys, I feel I can make it up to them now. I think we are on the right track.
There was an instant overwhelming sense of relief, it took weeks for me to sleep past 6am. To adjust to our new morning routine, having breakfast together, enjoying a cup of tea in bed and best of all no rushing out the door whilst my boys slept, or dragging Lil G out of the house in his pyjamas. These are our new ordinary moments, although right now they still feel everything but ordinary. They are precious moments.
And then there are the evenings. What with the lighter nights and the temperatures rising, there are at least a couple of times a week when I can’t help but dash out of the door at 5pm. With a summons from Lil G to walk our furry baby and to play a game of football on our local field, who could resist. Happiness is not missing these moments, happiness is being present and in the moment rather than receiving a photo from Mr H. Happiness is hearing our gorgeous boy chuckling, rolling around on the grass as he dives to save a goal, his laughter fills my heart with so much joy, it really is infectious. I’ll never get this time back. And it is those words which made me make this little change. Readdressing the balance. A change is as good as a rest.
And so, life feels pretty good right now. I went off to a little blogging conference at the weekend and you know it was much easier leaving my gorgeous boy because I work so much closer to home. I didn’t feel guilty, I missed him of course but I knew that we would make the most of our Sunday together as a family and that really the eight hours I get back a week allow for other things to happen. For plans outside of our little family to be made. For there to be less guilt.
How do you find the balance? Do you have it right or is it something you are still working on?