Feeling Sorry For My Boy…

I came home this evening to a somber Lil G. To a little boy who looked troubled. Like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hiding behind his Winnie Pooh teddy. Hiding behind what seemed like a mask of sadness. Occasionally looking at me for long enough for me to know that something wasn’t quite right.

As I was unable to get many words out of him, I reached out for him. Bless him. Bless his heart. He snuggled, curled up like my baby once did. And this is where he stayed for twenty minutes. Something isn’t right.

He refused to eat. He continued to snuggle. As he had spent the day at Kindergarten I was desperate to find out how his day had been. Apparently he hadn’t eaten all day but other than that there was nothing else reported. So what is it?

And then, out of the blue whilst having his bath he started to share with me what was troubling him. I won’t lie. Seeing him look so sad at the tender age of 3 years 10 months made me feel so sad. Perhaps because I’d had a long day myself I just wanted to cry. I didn’t. I still might.

He said…

I feel sad mummy, {child 1} kept pulling me and pushing me over today. She tries to hug me but I don’t want her to as she hurts me. Look mummy she scratches me. {Teacher} told her off today mummy but she pushed me again. I don’t like it mummy. I want her to stop mummy. Can you tell her to stop?

{Child 2} upset me as well today mummy. He told me to go away. He didn’t want to play with me. Doesn’t he like me mummy? Can you ask him mummy, please?

Both of these children have come up in conversation before. The first child has learning difficulties which I have witnessed so I appreciate that patience is required. However, Lil G seems troubled today. He isn’t himself. Is this little girl becoming too much for him? She is much bigger, which isn’t really that difficult as our little George is just that, small for his age.

The second child is his friend. This behaviour is just that of a child and I managed to explain that. It still upset him and let’s face it who likes being rejected? No one.

I was so conscious that it had taken him a whole hour to share this with me. I made a point of letting him know that if anything makes him sad or upsets him then he can always talk to mummy and daddy. That we will always be there to help. What he then went on to say literally broke my heart into pieces…

You can’t get to me quick enough mummy. You’re not at Kindy mummy. Why mummy? I looked for you and daddy today. I asked {Teacher} if I could see you but you were at work mummy. Do you think you could come next time she pushes me? I want you to tell her to stop it mummy.

Oh my goodness. My heart is literally broken. I feel so sad. These are the words I have always feared. I am a full-time working parent. This cannot change. For today I wish this was different. I feel sad. I feel guilty. Sad that I wasn’t there for him. Guilty that I’m a working parent. Guilt for not protecting him from this child. I know this isn’t huge, but to my sweet little boy, it’s a situation which has made him sad.

If truth be told I’m not quite sure where to take the situation with the first child. Yes she has learning difficulties but still this shouldn’t leave my little boy a shadow of himself. I don’t want him fearing her. On this day, today, I think he does. When talking through the plans for tomorrow and Wednesday I could see and hear relief in him. He was glad to be visiting Nanny and Grandad. He was glad not to be going back to Kindergarten.

What would you do?

KA x (a broken mummy) 

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19 Comments

  1. 20th April 2015 / 10:41 pm

    I would talk to the teacher. Neither child probably mean any harm but if this continues it could make the days very long and lonely for Little G.

    • 20th April 2015 / 10:49 pm

      Thank you, I shall call tomorrow. I always feel like I’m being dramatic but they don’t see the broken boy I do

  2. 20th April 2015 / 11:04 pm

    Bless him. H has told me before that a friend pushes him a bit and I never know what to do. This situation is obviously tougher if the child has learning difficulties, I would say bringing it up can’t hurt.

    Oh lovely, I can’t say anything to take away the guilt. I know you are doing what is best for your family. And the bleak truth is – we cannot always be there. When they are at school, when they are with friends. You were there for him tonight, when he needed to talk about it. That is what counts.

    I hope you’re ok and little G is happier tomorrow. hugs xxx

    • 21st April 2015 / 7:03 pm

      You’re so right honey, I was there tonight, I have a month of no flexibility really whilst I bed in. Then I’ll get my day from home. I really don’t know how they’ll work it out with the little girl as I’m sure she isn’t being malicious but for his mood to be as it was last night I have to at least raise it. Thanks for your encouragement honey x

  3. 20th April 2015 / 11:35 pm

    Oh bless his heart and yours! I would probably start with talking to the teacher and if that doesn’t help maybe talk to the kids parents..now my heart is broken into pieces! I hate that at 3yrs old kids have to deal with such sad feelings 🙁

    • 21st April 2015 / 7:04 pm

      It’s awful isn’t it, should they really have to deal with such pain x

  4. 21st April 2015 / 11:45 am

    Aww! Bless him and you! Sending big hugs…
    I would have a word with his teachers and let them know how upset your boy is….They may not even realise this has affected him so much x

    • 21st April 2015 / 7:04 pm

      Thank you honey, I’m going to speak with the Kindergarten tomorrow. I’m sure they haven’t x

  5. 21st April 2015 / 9:20 pm

    Oh bless his heart. Poor little sensitive soul- this would break my heart too. I don’t know what I would do as I haven’t been in the situation before, but I think I would probably speak to his teacher first and take it from there. I hope he feels a bit happier soon. xx

  6. 22nd April 2015 / 5:08 pm

    Heartbreaking! I had a tough spate with one of mine in nursery school and the teachers were fab-do suporrtive. Speak to them-phone or write a wee note if you can’t get in. Past experience tells me they’ll eat to help! Hope things improve xx

  7. 22nd April 2015 / 10:44 pm

    Oh… So sad 🙁 its heartbreaking, isn’t it? Hard to teach them to be emotionally strong enough to deal with it, without breaking their beautiful sensitive spirits. I hope you can speak to the teacher and find a way forward, bless him.

  8. Not A Frumpy Mum
    26th April 2015 / 2:38 pm

    Oh that would be heartbreaking. It’s so hard, we want to protect them so much but we can’t be there every second of the day. I think if it were me I’d speak to the teacher especially regarding Child 1. There may be special needs involved and extra patience required but it shouldn’t be making Lil G so unhappy, maybe a closer eye needs to be kept on things. xx

    • 26th April 2015 / 5:54 pm

      It’s a difficult balance isn’t it of protecting them and toughening them up, how sad he was made me just want to cuddle him and protect him from the world x

  9. 29th April 2015 / 10:20 am

    Oh this has nearly had me in tears, my heart is breaking for you. Such a difficult situation and I can imagine your Lil G is such a lovely boy that he doesn’t understand why someone would be like that. I would say it is worth talking to the teacher, there is probably a limited amount they can do but at least they will know why he is getting upset and be able to talk to him. I hope it gets resolved and he goes back to being his happy little self xx

  10. 7th June 2015 / 9:04 pm

    I have a few issues here.. Firstly why didn’t the nursery tell you? Secondly if this child has disabilities they should cater for this child to have more supervision. I know in the UK funding for staff is available so they have a higher ratio, not sure if it’s the same for you?
    I am angry for you after reading this, disabilities or not bullying should not be accepted!
    You can’t dwell on your work situation and after a few days he might have forgotten about it and be happy to return to kindergarten but if not take him to his assigned person and talk all 3 of you about him being ok there. Maybe prewarn them xx

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